Why Being A ���Bad Mom��� May Make You A Better Parent

I think we are raising weaker generations. Children are more spoiled, have less responsibilities, complain about doing the slightest amount of work, spend more time inside playing video games and texting and posting nonsense.

It seems half the children are diagnosed with ADD or ODD and need to take medication to get through childhood. Many children are also depressed and medicated for this.

Mothers and fathers don’t want to put their children through the mental toughness that their own parents put them through so instead they do the opposite and provide a cushy and soft life for the children. It seems parents don’t make their children do chores….or at least very few chores.

I believe the reason is that many children grow up without fathers and are raised mostly by mothers who are excellent at nurturing, but very poor with disciplining their children. It’s also because separated and divorced parents feel guilty for putting their children through the divorce and fail to discipline their children in hopes of gaining favour with the child. Great in the short term but highly damaging in the long term.

Wives need to let their husbands (or ex-husbands if divorced) do their job in disciplining their children. If they are divorced then the mother needs to pick up the traditional role of the father in disciplining their children PROPERLY (that’s not a suggestion….it’s a MUST). By disciplining I am not talking about abusing, but rather have relevant CONSISTENT consequences for the children when they are doing the wrong thing, and following through. Following through means NOT LETTING your child negotiate a reduced consequence later on because you FEEL sorry for them, or they’ve been behaving well for PART of their comsequence. It also means teaching right from wrong. It means speaking firmly and assertively (not yelling and criticizing).

Women tend to parent with their emotions and are not consistent. Most children do not respect their mothers in the same way they respect their fathers. Children easily manipulate their mothers and tend to break them down to the point of crying. Children do this by engaging their mother in what I call an emotional circular argument. for example, a teenage daughter will ask if she can keep her smartphone in her bedroom during the night…mom says no…daughter then asks why…the mother provides a logical reason…the daughter then disagrees and promises to be responsible with the smartphone… mother says no…daughter then asks why AGAIN and promises to be responsible…mom REPEATS the same logical reason but raises her voice while responding …daughter then gets angry, throws an insult, raises her voice and asks why again…this goes on until both are yelling at each other and mother gives in and let’s her daughter sleep with her cell phone for fear of escalating the argument (mother then questions her own judgement and feels like a bad parent).

Fathers parent much differently. A father would tell his teenage daughter she can no longer take her smartphone into the bedroom at night and list the reasons….if the daughter tries to ask again the father will inform her assertively that any additional attempts will cause him to take the phone away temporarily for a week….if she foolishly makes the attempt the Father DOES NOT engage in an argument and takes away the phone. If the daughter doesn’t hand the phone to the Father he then advises that the smartphone service will be cut off AND DOES IT. The daughter will actually respect and love the father more deeply (NOT THE OPPOSITE). The father DOES NOT feel bad about doling our consequences because he know how much good it will do for his daughter in the future. He also knows that he won’t have to it often because the daughter knows her father means business. Mothers feel the necessity to keep arguing thinking their children will eventually understand and comply with their request willingly, but unfortunately in order to get to this point the child needs to respect you, and this won’t happen until they see you as the leader of the family. Leadership takes skill and effort - no different from leading a company. If employees were allowed to argue disrespectfully with their boss there would be a chaotic environment and the company would eventually fail.

I am not sexist….men and women are wired differently. Women contribute differently from men. Women are nurturing and provide certain emotional needs CRUCIAL for children that men are just not gifted with. Women are also much better at multitasking ….an amazing quality to have when rearing children.

children need a strong father presence which many don’t have nowadays.

I think new generations have psychiatric issues because there is a severe lack of traditional strong family units. Not just from a lack of fathers but a lack of quality parents who know how to parent properly.

Source : https://www.quora.com/Why-does-this-generation-make-so-many-more-references-to-psychiatric-conditions-than-past-generations

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