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I have been writing and teaching about healthy sexuality for decades, and consistently, the number one sexual concern of my students and my patients is low libido. I would define low libido as a lack of spontaneous desire for sex (alone or with another), including sexual thoughts and fantasies. The Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors (GSSAB) found that 26 to 43 percent of women experienced low sexual desire worldwide. As both a doctor and a woman, I find this alarming, since satisfying sex has so many benefits—it can be a positive force for health, producing important chemicals in our bodies and important bonds in our relationships. So why are so many of us lacking in desire?

If you were sitting in my office concerned about having low sex drive, you would see me make a large circle with my hands and arms, while saying, ‘libido for women lives in the complex web of our lives and is influenced by our past experiences, our general health, our current relationships, and our hormonal balance.’ In other words, women don’t separate sex from any other important part of their health and well-being. Which, honestly, is as it should be. Sexual desire is an expression of vibrant health, of creative fire. And, we all deserve to have a life that supports that vibrant expression of life-affirming desire.

Here are some of the factors that can cause trouble with your libido and what you can do to help.

1. Your family suppressed sexuality

The earliest influences on our sexuality are the household and societal sexual norms that we grow up with. If you were raised in a place where most folks, for religious or cultural reasons, felt that sex is bad or to be feared, you might suppress your own early sexual exploration. Early fears of sexuality remain with us once we are adults and can be difficult to shake. Sometimes it can be therapeutic to flaunt those rigid norms by yourself or with friends or a lover that you trust. In other words, as a very wise woman once said to me, ‘shake your hips, like your mama told you not tah,’ …. And enjoy it. You get to reclaim your body and your joy in it for yourself.

2. You have low body confidence

If you were raised in a family or culture that had strict definitions of what a sexy woman should look like, you may feel inadequate in comparison. It is infuriating that the image of what is considered sexy in the media is so impossibly out-of-step with what women actually look like. The great majority of potential lovers are interested in you because you are physically attracted to them. Not because you fit some perfect ideal of the female form. Ask any woman-loving man or woman. They like breasts. All breasts. All sizes and shapes. And hips . . . and those lovely derrieres. And particularly in a woman that they care about and find interesting.

We can be brutal with ourselves about our bodies, but our lovers typically just want to love us. And in case you were concerned that being overweight might affect your ability to be sexual, real studies of this show that women who are overweight or obese have just as much sexual libido and orgasmic ability as other women.

Source : https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/sex-relationships/sex/low-libido-8-surprising-reasons-you-might-not-want-sex/news-story/4ed328606c0c74185a781c751a6c5656

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